It’s been a long while since I blogged publicly. I have all of these posts in the queue or in drafts but it doesn’t feel right to post them now.
“What’s feelings got to do with it?”
Everything.
I feel people can sense if I’m posting just to post or if I mean what I write. By all means, I want there to be valued from what you read and thus wanted to wait for the content to be just right.
But is there a thing as, “just right?”
People who read the blog may not like what I do. But then some may welcome the change.
I don’t know.
But here’s what I do know:
I’m overwriting about five simple ways to, “XYZ” for every post.
To me, it’s oversaturated, a bit redundant, and I don’t find it to be helpful.
From my recent polls, YOU don’t find it helpful.
Maybe I won’t quit all the way, but I’d love to scale it back.
Also
From being a reader and observer, I see blogging authentically is making a comeback slowly but surely.
I asked, “What the Hell Happened to Blogging?” A while ago, and it seems the stale, robotic posts on the same topic just for SEO purposes are driving other people nuts as well.
Also also
There’s this thing I’m doing called, “following energy.”
The concept is foreign to me because I was always thought it was some weird moon/earth/stars thing I rejected in the past (but embrace in the present), but I thought about giving it a try.
And my energy wasn’t in writing meaningless things.
But I wanted to create and connect, and take photos and Instagram life. I wanted to speak out about real-life issues such as the stabbing of Nia Wilson by a White Supremacist, and the double standards of feminism by “spiritual” teachers and White feminists, specifically.
I wanted to become a person who ran a half marathon, so I decided Texas summer was the best time to start training (I succumbed to a gym pass at the local rec when the temperatures hit 110 degrees…for real).
My energy was into confronting issues I have with food, being honest about how my not dieting but dieting was 100% dieting and it’s been a life struggle.
There’s dealing with failure and rejection as a creative, and what it means and doesn’t mean.
Lesson? You don’t suck, you’re not terrible, it’s just not a good fit—and honestly, you’re better off.
Embracing silence is also new. There’s a lot of noise from asking too many people’s opinions and advice about certain matters that I didn’t trust myself on. I’m learning to cut out the noise and listen to myself instead of others, and that involves isolating myself a bit.
So the blog died. And the newsletter and social media promotion. I started a YouTube Channel I honestly didn’t really tell anyone about—I just didn’t feel like it, honestly.
And that’s weird, but it also means where my energy was a month ago is not where it is now. There’s only one person running the FIVE12 show here, and I need to balance and juggle appropriately.
So the question is, will the blog continue? I hope one day I get so inspired to write about branding and design, about what it’s like to find a wellness balance between mental and physical health. If it’s real, I want to share it, because building community is what blogging is about, no?
So maybe the blog didn’t die-it took a break. But it’ll be back…it’s coming back.
